Someone just paged on the overhead system: "Everyone please check out Terri's legs today."
Terri is the head honcho (honchess?) in the building, more or less, and I guess she's actually wearing a skirt today. Still, it's a weird thing to hear first thing in the morning.
I sure feel braindead this morning. Buffy was disappointing last night. I discovered the joy that is Domino's Dots. Now I just feel fat. I'm wearing lipstick today. I get to go motherboard shopping for my parent's puter tonight. In the quiet moments, I still feel the resonant vibrations of psychic violence from the past. And I can't stop dwelling on Justin's death, even though I hadn't really thought about him in years. I guess that's the effect of never having someone who was actually close to me pass away. If I have any connection at all with the deceased, it stays with me. I'm too sensitive for my own good.
Like in 7th grade at Computech... there was this girl named Andrea who always used to pick on me. She dressed like a grunge rocker (this was, after all, 1994) and she had a high school boyfriend. Then, one Friday night, she shot herself. My best friend came to me the following Monday, right after we found out what had happened, and told me that Andrea had gone to her during the day on Friday and told her to give me her apologies for being such a bitch. Then again, I suppose my friend might have made this up just to be sappy. Still, I held onto her obituary for years.
And then in high school, when Julie was killed in a car accident, I went to the memorial service they held in the Little Theater at Roosevelt and bawled like a baby, even though I'd never actually had a conversation with the girl.
And there was Robert's little brother who wasn't looking where he was going while playing soccer. And that Asian girl who hung herself, I think her name was Mei, the one with the limp. And, of course, all the gang-related crap that went down in and around the high school.
Half the time I start crying if any of you talk about someone dying, even if I've never even met you. Shit, man, the person doesn't even have to be real. I had trouble sleeping after the episode of Buffy where Tara was shot. It makes me wonder what's going to happen to me when someone close to me does die. Like my grandmother, who just turned 90. Or my kitty, who has leukemia and probably not much time left.
Shit, I gotta stop dwelling on these things so early in the morning.
You ever see a sign or name every so often and it always gets a certain song stuck in your head?
Maybe that's unclear, here's an example:
There's a sign on a door at my work that says "Home Services Clinical Clerical" and it always gets Supertramp running through my head, as in... "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, oh it was clinical clerical..."
Or, we once had a patient whose first name was Colita and every time I saw her name I started thinking of Hotel California.
Yeah, this really is the best shit I can come up with to talk about this morning. It's freakin' Monday. School starts in a week. Yeah.
Yay for Ambi having email at work and keeping me amused throughout the course of the day. :)